Last month my dad had an emergency operation for an intestinal obstruction. Then he came home and felt better except he has lost weights and it kept hanging me up. But because he's already had an operation so I thought that there's nothing to be worried about.

But yesterday, the doctor called my dad told him that he wants to see and talk to him about his removed small intestine.

He said that..... they found a malignant polyp and some lymph nodes on that removed intestine.

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My dad has cancer. CA Colon Stage III
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I just sat there, alone, in front of the hospital cashier counter, and cried. It felt like my whole world just fell apart. I couldn't hear anything but my inner voice saying that I couldn't believe this. I know about risk factors for colon cancer, like, it is more likely to occur as ppl get older, or ppl over age 50 who have polyps growth on the inner wall of the colon and some can become cancer like my dad's case blah-blah-blah. But I know him. He has NEVER done something that may increase the chance of developing a disease. He's so strong, he eats a lot of fruits and vegetables, he has never smoked, has never drunk, he had screening tests (and that stupid doctor from Pichit Hospital said that my dad had an intestineobstruction not cancer!), and our close relatives have never had a history of cancer before.

But while I was crying my eyes out, my dad came to me, sat beside me, and gave me a smile.....

Suddenly I realized that..... worry is a total waste of time. It doesn't change anything. Buddhism teaches us that the normal human response to suffering is to try to find a way to escape. It's obviously a good thing to eliminate unnecessary suffering. BUT avoiding pain doesn't help us to solve the problem, the problem is still there. We have to learn to accept it not push it away.

So I stopped crying, whipped my tears, and smiled at him.

Where hope grows, miracles blossom.

No matter what happens..... we can get through this together. :-)